Nehirim | Bisexuality: Making the Invisible Visible in Faith Communities

I came out as lesbian in 1981, realizing three years later that I was bisexual. Long before my career as a faith leader began, in the 1990’s I was a national coordinator of BiNet USA for five years, the editor of Blessed Bi Spirit: Bisexual People of Faith (ContinuumInternational, 2000), and a teacher at hundreds of venues on the topic of bisexuality and spirituality. I trained several national lesbian and gay organizations on preventing bisexual invisibility and erasure and serving bisexual constituents. I facilitated the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force’s Religious Leadership Roundtable for six years. By the time I entered seminary in 2006 it would have been unthinkable, not to mention impossible for me to be in the closet!

I have never been a one-issue activist, though. In addition to my queer activism I was an outspoken person of faith on any number of issues-peace, economic justice, environmental protection, hunger abatement.

What a blessing, therefore, to work in the Jewish Renewal world, where my sexual orientation is matter of factly accepted as another interesting aspect of my multi-faceted life. Whether for nine years as Executive Director of ALEPH: Alliance for Jewish Renewal, or at my current pulpit position at P’nai Or in Portland Oregon, it seems that a critical mass of people either know bisexual people or are bisexual themselves. My orientation in this world has always been seen as real, valid and holy.

And for the past year as Executive Director of Nehirim, once again I find my identity affirmed, my experience honored and my theology respected. Such a different experience from when I first came out as bisexual thirty years ago, when some lesbian friends assured me that there was no such thing as bisexuality. One even said that if I didn’t realize that I was truly a lesbian I would kill myself. Many gave me the silent treatment when I mentioned my boyfriend, mirroring the experience they had with their parents, when they spoke about their girl friends.

You can see why for 30 years have I worked to elevate the unique wisdom, theology, beauty and creativity of bisexual folks, why being out in every context has been so important to me and why I am so excited about the Religious Institute’s new Guide Book on Bisexuality.

Someone recently told me that they thought I was the only out bisexual of a national LGBTQ organization. I haven’t done my due diligence, so please tell me if that information is incorrect. But even if there is one other Bi ED out there, Nehirim’s decision to hire me reflects so much of what is powerful, special and precious about us. Our commitment to:

Pluralism, diversity and creating a home for EVERY queer Jew (and our partners, families and friends, whether they are queer or Jewish or not.)
Supporting full integration of all aspects of ourselves, including but not limited to: spirituality, sexual orientation, gender identity, culture, artistry, racial identity, political beliefs, campiness and more. We are beauteously complex, and every part of ourselves is celebrated at Nehirim.
Lifting up the particular teachings, wisdom, cultural, liturgical and other gifts of Queer Jews, asserting that welcome is lovely but even better is celebrating and learning from our Torah, appreciating our contributions to klal Yisrael and empowering all of us, including our youth to become leaders of the ever growing, ever awakening Jewish people.
Ensuring that we create environments where all sectors of community can be together (our Winter Gathering, East Retreat and Urban Shabbaton) and where each segment of our community can nourish itself independently (women’s, men’s, trans, student, clergy and hopefully bisexual retreats—let me know if you will come if we create a new offering for bi folk!)

For we who yearn to ensure those harmed by religion can be healed by religion, for we who yearn to ensure that the grace of loving beyond gender, at the level of the soul, is seen as a beautiful reflection of the image of G-d, for we who yearn to protect, celebrate and sanctify all of G-d’s children, both Nehirim and this guide-book are a G-d send.