Young GLBT people rarely have queer elders to mentor them. Most of us are born into our religious and ethnic communities. By contrast, members of sexual or gender minorities are rarely born into GLBT families with queer role models, teachers, and mentors. Worse, as young adults seek out mentors in the queer community, they are often justifiably fearful of being objects of sexual predation. Conversely, older gays and lesbians who do not have children are often looking for youth to mentor and guide, yet do not have many outlets to do so.

Built on the successful model of the Gay Spirituality Movement, the Nehirim Elder/Youth program matches GLBT elders and youth in long-term mentoring relationships. Interested participants fill out a questionnaire and are matched by Nehirim staff. After an initial conversation, after which both parties agree to initiate the relationship, it is expected that elders and youth will talk by phone at least once a month, email frequently, and see each other in person at Nehirim conferences and events. Elders receive counseling from Rabbi Jacob Staub, director of the Elder/Youth program, on a monthly group conference call and via email. Rabbi Staub provides guidance, resources, and support for elders, ensuring the safety of the elder/youth relationship and enabling elders to grow in their roles as mentors. Youth/mentees receive as-needed brief coaching from Zvi Bellin, via phone and email, checking in and enabling them to get the most out of the relationship.

Naturally, the safety and security of the relationship is of paramount importance. Rabbi Staub is available to all participants, both elders and youth, to discuss any problems or concerns they have. Participants (elder and youth) are screened in person, generally at a Nehirim event, and admission is a selective process. Any sexual or other inappropriate relationship between elders and youth will cause the Nehirim relationship to be terminated, and in such cases, both parties will be required to meet with Rabbi Staub prior to their admission to Nehirim programs. Only those over the age of 18 are eligible to participate, and those with substance abuse, psychological, or other issues requiring professional attention will not be admitted without the prior consent of the mental health professional treating the participant. The elder/youth relationship is not a substitute for therapy or psychiatric care; it is a special, and holy, relationship of its own.

Shalshelet is directed by Rabbi Jacob J. Staub. Rabbi Staub is Professor of Jewish Philosophy and Spirituality at the Reconstructionist Rabbinical College in Philadelphia, where he served as Dean for seventeen years, At RRC, he founded and continues to direct the first program in Jewish Spiritual Direction ever established at a rabbinical seminary. He studied Spiritual Direction at the Shalem Institute for Spiritual Formation and has taught advanced training for Jewish Spiritual Directors. He teaches Jewish Meditation, Contemplative Practice, Jewish Spirituality, and Queer Midrash. He is the co-author of Exploring Judaism: A Reconstructionist Approach.

Rabbi Staub is assisted by Zvi Bellin,a Ph.D. candidate in pastoral counseling at Loyola College. He holds an M.A. in Counseling and Guidance from NYU. For the past five years, Zvi has led a variety of workshops on Jewish spirituality and mysticism, and serves as outreach coordinator for Nehirim. He will be helping students and youth get the most of out of the Shalshelet program.

The Elder/Youth program is a vital part of Nehirim's mission to create authentic spiritual community for GLBT Jews. It will enhance the lives of young people, enrich the lives of older people, and create Jewish networks of love and support where they are needed most. For information on how to participate, please email us at info[at]nehirim.org.