Nehirim Puts On First Ever Retreat for LGBT Rabbis, Cantors & Students in San Francisco

One of the most beautiful things about the Jewish faith is its inclusionary attitude towards women and the LGBT community. Always encouraging a sense of community and belonging, Judaism encourages open discussion of sometimes difficult or painful topics in a safe space. With this mission statement in mind, Nehirim is hosting its first ever retreat for LGBT rabbis, rabbinic pastors, cantors, and students, which began December 7th, running till today (Dec. 10th) in San Francisco.

Founded in 2004 by Jay Michaelson, Nehirim is an non-profit organization and advocacy group which aims to promote diversity and equality based on the teachings of the Jewish faith. They also help to foster a sense of community amongst the Jewish LGBT community.

Currently Rabbi Debra Kolodny is acting as executive director of the organization. Since 1980, Rabbi Kolodny has volunteered with other faith based organizations, LGBT advocacy groups, and women’s rights groups. She’s been operating at the executive director of Nehirim since 2013 and shows no signs of retiring any time soon.

We at Shalom Life got a chance to sit down with Rabbi Kolodny to talk about her plans for the future of Nehirim, as well as the retreat, which will offer participants the change to engage in cutting-edge midrash, mystical text study, and Talmudic exploration while sharing new rituals and liturgies. They will also discuss pastoral issues specific to LGBTQ people and the challenges they face as LGBTQ clergy.

Each day will involve prayer, networking and extraordinary study, with the goal of the retreat being to celebrate the diversity within the Jewish community, and to nurture a supportive community for queer clergy, and to share the unique perspectives on God, community, love and Torah.

Shalom Life: What first inspired you to get involved with LGBT activism and nonprofits?

Rabbi Kolodny: I was raised in a progressive, politically active family. My mom identified as a feminist and my dad was active in the teachers union. I started marching in women's and civil rights marches when I was eight years old. So I learned the importance of tikkun olam (repairing the world) and tzedek, tzedek tirdof (pursuing justice) first hand. When I was twelve I knew that I wanted to go to law school so I could become a civil rights attorney. When I came out as a lesbian at the age of 20 it was obvious to me that I was obligated to become an activist.

In 1981 marriage wasn't even on the horizon yet. We could be fired for being LGBT. We could lose our housing. We were routinely getting beaten up and raped. Police weren't raiding the bars any more where we lived, but there was a lot of work to be done. When I came out in 1984 as bisexual, my call to continue educating, advocating and creating safe space especially for bisexual people was clear. There were hardly any bisexual support or advocacy groups then. I co-created the first bisexual support group at the University of Pennsylvania because I needed the space myself! Once engaged, the sense of accomplishment from pursuing a worthy mission with wonderful friends and allies made it clear that LGBT activism would always be part of my life. 34 years later that still holds true!

How did you eventually come to work with Nehirim?

As Executive Directors of two cutting edge Jewish non-profits, Nehirim's founding director, Jay Michaelson, and I knew one another for many years. I co-led a retreat for Nehirim in 2011, just before I moved to Portland to become the rabbi at P'nai Or. I totally fell in love with the organization, its mission and its participants. Even though I was as out as any person could be, I discovered that the joyful, creative, pluralistic, loving environment found at Nehirim events was an intellectually, culturally and socially stimulating environment I'd never known before. I wanted more of it. Clearly other LGBTQ Jews loved it too. So much so that Nehirim has many long-time repeat attendees, some of whom were inspired to pursue careers as Jewish professionals, establish a regular Jewish practice, stay connected or reconnect to Judaism, integrate their sexual orientation identity or gender identity with their religious practice, etc. In short, these events transformed lives in ways that hugely benefitted those who participated and also benefitted klal Yisrael.

When Jay was ready to move on from Nehirim in 2013 he contacted me and asked if I would be interested in taking on the helm when he left. My pulpit position had been reduced to half time, and I said if the position could be 1/2 time, I could do it. Interviews ensued and here I am.

I think all of these words could be summarized by saying, my coming to Nehirim was basherte. A perfect fit for my history of LGBTQ and faith activism, the incredible gratification of being a retreat rabbi, a wonderful community of souls to learn, pray and play with, and the opportunity to create even more amazing events, like our first LGBTQ Jewish clergy retreat happening December seventh to the tenth in San Francisco.

What’s been the biggest reward of working with the organization, as well as the biggest challenge?

Beyond a doubt, the biggest reward is getting to work, study, pray and play with brilliant, courageous, inspiring LGBTQ Jews. Whether they are just coming out of restrictive or even abusive environments and feel blessed to be in safe, loving Jewish environment or they have been out for decades as Jewish leaders and feel blessed to be giving over their fringier teaching and seeing how it inspires, heals and makes whole thirsty souls. The participants, my colleagues and friends and Nehirim are fabulous.

The biggest challenge is of course the ratio of time that I (like any non-profit director) have to spend on administration and fundraising. But how could I even call that a challenge? It is so heartwarming to see incredible long term support from foundations like the Walter and Elise Haas fund, Kalliopeia and Dorot, as well as newer relationships with the UJA, Arcus and some individual large donors. The work we are doing is making a great impact on the Jewish world and it is gratifying to see that recognized.

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